I won’t be buying Skadi any time soon. This is partly because it’s an app, and I don’t have a phone. However, like many apps, it’s completely bloody pointless anyway.

Pokemon Go was all the rage last year, and I couldn’t see much point to that, though there were several amusing tales of people falling down cliffs or driving into police cars* while distracted. All in all quite a hazardous app.

Skadi is a bit like Pokémon Go, but with added danger, since it’s intended to be played while you’re skiing. Why you might want to catch marmots or collect crystals as you hurtle down the piste is quite beyond me. Mind you, the point of skiing itself is beyond me**. But if I were a skier, I think I might want to concentrate on the tasks in hand, such as avoiding trees and other skiers, and not ending up bouncing downhill on my head. I wouldn’t want wi-fi on the slopes either, for the same reasons, and also because I’m on sodding holiday to get away from crap like that, but apparently it’s rather popular, largely with the Instagram addicts I imagine.

This snow-based idiocy doesn’t stop there either. Want to travel in a cable car that was designed by Porsche? After next summer, all you need to do is hi yourself to San Domenico, in Italy. If you can’t wait that long, if your need for gratification is absolutely Now Now Now, help is at hand. Get yourself off to Alpe d’Huez in France.

I was taken aback at the thought of an Italian ski resort having gondolas designed by the German company Porsche. The Italians are pretty good at designing stylish artefacts, so you might have expected Ferrari to have a hand in things, though preferably not the engineering side if you don’t want to get stranded halfway when the lift breaks down, as it surely would. However, all is not lost.

An Italian ski lift manufacturer, which is one of those jobs you would probably never think of as a career choice, has hooked up with Pininfarina, who designed lots of the iconic shapes that have come out of Maranello. Their luxury ski lift opens this winter in Val Gardena, complete heating for the wussy clientele they’re going to attract (though that might be handy if things go wrong), and with external lighting strips to illuminate the contours of the gondolas.

That lighting idea sounds a bit tacky, come to think of it. Forget what I said about Italians being stylish.

*On at least one occasion the driver was also pissed, so doubly funny, since nobody was hurt.

**I quite like the look of snowboarding though.