Good morning. Sunday shortie. With an appropriately Biblical edge that I’ll approach in my usual oblique fashion.

If you read the reports on this news story, you’ll have been pretty sure I’d go into one about it. A woman in Newcastle, Sarah Hall, has asked her son’s school to remove Sleeping Beauty from the curriculum. She thinks that kissing a sleeping woman is inappropriate. She may have a point, but she’s not going in for the really inappropriate stuff in fairy tales, is she?

Snow White’s stepmother attempts murder, and ends up having to wear redhot iron shoes. Rapunzel gets locked up at the age of twelve having been taken from her parents. Rumpelstiltskin is little less than a kidnapper and trafficker. Hansel and Gretel get captured and fattened up by a cannibalistic witch. Little Red Riding Hood has a grandmother who is eaten whole by a wolf, a fate that nearly befalls the eponymous heroine. The mother in law in The Twelve Brothers gets put into a barrel full of boiling oil and venomous snakes. Need I go on?

However, if Ms Hall wants some really despicable and inappropriate fictional behaviour towards women taken off the curriculum, she may want to start with the Old Testament. Rape, stonings, slavery, it’s a cornucopia of abuse.