It was either this or fulminating about TFF in the White House signing an EO to revoke something that only last week he claimed he had ‘no control over.’ Wankshaft. Anyway, to lighter matters.

If you’ve ever had trouble with rats in your domicile, you’ll know just what destructive little buggers they are. My friend Susan is dealing with a load of the buggers in the roof of her garage even as I type this. Given that Moses the Wonderdog is a lurcher bred for hunting he might have paid a bit more attention, but heyho.

Anyway, the travails in Llandudno pale into insignificance compared with those in Tinsukia in India. A Bank of India ATM had been out of order for 12 days. This surprised me. If an ATM goes down then normally, in the words attributed to Wells Fargo, ‘Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night’ stops the engineers from turning up. Especially in India, where cash is still very much king.

Said engineers duly rocked up, and found what the problem was. Rats had got in through the hole where the wiring was, and shredded 1.7M rupees, or about 13,000 quid.

Then we got some cheering news that the Jurassic Park film franchise, as well as running out of steam pretty much at the second effort, is unrealistic in its depiction of Tyrannosaurus rex. You know the bits where Rexy is stomping about slavering and licking its lips? It couldn’t do that. They have short tongues firmly rooted to the floor of their mouths. Sad* but true. Oh, and a while ago another squad of pointyheads worked out T. rex couldn’t roar. It’s breathing passages are unsuited to a Stentorian approach to communication, and they reckon they probably tweeted** or clucked.

By the way, dogs can read our emotions. No kidding. Cats can tell when you’re ill, and they come and make a fuss. They don’t care about you. They worry about not getting fed.

Now a story about Home sapiens, which counts as an animal for the purposes of this argument. A judge in Galicia, Maria Jesus Garcia Perez, is in hot water with judicial authorities, and her career hangs in the balance. Her heinous crime? Not taking bungs, not incompetence. Nope. She has been moonlighting as a fortune teller. This is apparently ’incompatible with her position as a judge.’

I don’t see it, but whatever. Another puzzling aspect is that she didn’t foresee she’d end up in trouble.

*Nearly as sad as the researchers who figured this out.

**As in the noise birds make, since they weren’t really manually geared up for handling a mobile.