It’s alive, Igor! It’s alive! I’ve managed to resurrect my laptop!

You have to feel sorry for the Toffs, or rather toffs with a small t. Parents of children at toff schools are whingeing that Oxbridge and other Russell Group universities are setting quotas for attracting proles from non-toff schools. This, they claim, amounts to social engineering.

What they mean of course is that Algernon or Arabella, having been sent to expensive public schools, now have less chance at getting in than they did; money no longer talks in the selection process. The toffs don’t seem to appreciate that buying your way in, effectively, is also social engineering. That doesn’t matter, because it works in their favour.

This is a classic example of the haves not wanting the have-nots to better themselves, to stay in their place, and not upset the jobs applecart. How very dare they! Get up the chimney and start sweeping! We want to get back to the days when it wasn’t what you know but who you know. Happy times.

Still on the subject of higher education, sort of. The Institute of Apprenticeships and Technology (who knew such a thing existed?) is issuing guidance to its members. Regarding what? Masculine language in adverts. Yes really. Allegedly words such as ‘challenging’ are too masculine, and are deterring women from considering apprenticeships. Do you believe that? I have to say I’m not convinced. You surely need people who are not so lily-livered they’re put off by a word? Being an apprentice is always a bit rough and tumble, and if you’re deterred by the words in an advertisement it may not be a good career move, may it?