Last week in the UK, the news was dominated by speculation on which particular fuckwit, and there are plenty of fuckwits to choose from, will get to lead the Toffs and become de facto Prime Minister. We proles don’t get a say in this. It’s down to 300-odd MPs to develop a short list of two, then the Toff Party membership, all 160,000 of them, get the final say. Democracy in action.

The bad news. The blond Bullingdon Bullieboy is looking like a shoo-in. The last Bullingdon alumnus was Pigshagger, and he’s the very reason we ended up in the klart over the EU. That doesn’t bode well, does it? After he fucked up, we ended up with Goodie Two Shoes, and look what happened with her. Inertia to the point of stasis.

On the upside, Esther McVey got fed to the wolves. I’m glad about that. I dislike her nearly as much as I dislike Odious, and that’s saying something. Also ‘Sayonara’ to Andrea Leadsom, which is no real loss, and Mark Harper. Who? Who was he? What did he stand for?

Jeremy Hunt, or Rhyming Slang as he’s known? I don’t want him at the helm. Michael Gove? Not sure about him either, though if they make a new series of Spitting Image, he’s the only one Fluck and Law would not need to caricature. Dominic Raab? Looks uncannily like a gangster in a Jason Statham film, and he and Sajid Javid have threatened to prorogue Parliament if that means they can force through a no-deal exit. That sucks.

The last two in the running both bear uncanny resemblances to film stars, though that doesn’t qualify them for the job. Rory Stewart seems to be a decent cove, yet looks very much like Willem Dafoe. Meanwhile, just one vote above him, Matt Hancock* looks like Nicolas Cage’s slightly heftier brother. I have no idea about his policies.

By the way, if you’re a fan. of Boris Johnson, bear in mind that he’s TFF’s pick for top dog. That should ring some alarm bells.

*He ducked out since I wrote this, which is a bit of a shame. I was looking forward to a few years getting mileage out of the similarities