This is going to be very short and very very controversial.

Menopausal women getting pissed on Prosecco. Nobody needs this. Nobody. We’re all aware of the menopause, but it’s not a disease state. Women have been going through it since Eve. If you have vicious moodswings, intermittent depression, crying jags, hot flushes, you have my sympathy. I just don’t want to hear about it in a pub when you and your mates are lashed up on cheap booze. Dryness and itching? The feeling it has, and I quote, ‘Healed over?’ Nope. Now you’re just being impolite.

When a bloke gets this self-pitying, he’s accused of having man flu.

I shall now sit back and await the opprobrium.