You cannot faze a camel. You may not have even thought about that.

If the Magi tracked unknown miles on camels, which is a big if by the way, well all I can say is fair play to them. Ever ridden a camel? I’ve ridden a camel, and bugger me it isn’t easy, I can tell you that with no fear of contradiction. They’re very very ungainly. There’s a reason they’re referred to as ‘ships of the desert.’ You could easily get seasick on one. Or pop a spinal disc. But….

Despite being a bit ungainly, they’re ridiculously surefooted, and ridiculously unfazed by terrain. You cannot faze a camel. Show it some stupid bit of geography, it just shakes its head and goes, ‘OFFS! Are you SERIOUS? Oh well, off we go then.’

A camel with a rider will tackle slopes so steep I’d think hard about using crampons. Except you cannot use crampons on a surface consisting of sand and gravel. You’d be on your own. If you have ever played on sand dunes as a child (or as an adult), just buggered about running around, you know how easy it is to lose your footing and take a pretty unstoppable tumble. Camels can do it without even thinking too hard.

Because camels don’t give a fuck. They don’t even blink at the challenge. They can do it all day, every sodding day. You couldn’t get a four-wheel-drive offroad racer down the sort of slopes they tackle with utter insouciance. You’d flip your car, over and over.  Camels just don’t care. They really do not care. They just saunter down. ‘Hey, what’s the problem here?’

They can be a bit ill tempered, and you really can get through your life without one eructating on you. But bloody hell, for tackling impossible slopes on loose, unpredictable surfaces, a camel is the way to go.

Trust me on this. You cannot faze a camel. You can’t. Don’t even bother trying.