If you’re having breakfast as you read this, it may be a good time to skip and go and look for some kitten memes. Just saying.

I tend to eat quite a lot of breakfast cereals. There are two reasons for this. One, pick your way around, some of them aren’t actually bad for you. Get it right, whole bundles of fibre and other goodness. Dr Kellogg and his mates have done their sums, and the milk is good for you. Back off vegans, I’m not in the mood for a firefight just now.

Two, they’re pretty low impact. They go down really easily (apart from Shredded Wheat), and if, sadly, they should bounce back (it happens), you have something to grip on, so the return journey is as OK as you can wish for. Low impact down, low impact back. Win/win, isn’t it? Apart from Shredded Wheat. That can smart on the way back up.

But I now have to protest. Rice Krispies are the ultimate cereal. Totally bland pap, merely a vehicle for milk and sugar. I’m still juvenile enough to listen for the ‘Snap crackle and pop.’ And they go satisfyingly soggy in milk, which means I can eat them without gagging. This is a good thing.

Something has gone wrong though. Krispies have gone by the wayside. NOW you can only find Krispies Multigrains.. These come in a variety of shapes (Count the Shapes!) and are nothing  like Rice Krispies. They are heresy.

 I don’t want Multigrains. I want Rice Krispies, plain and simple, snap, crackle, pop, soggy pap. Is that too much to ask for?