Sorry, cars again. I’m mentally dysfunctional about them, I know. It’s been a lifelong habit, since I knew my father’s Austin A90 was crap.

As you know, I love American musclecars, their swagger, their braggadocio, their complete inability to go round corners without ending up on the roof in a ditch. But listen guys. If you’re going to bugger about with big cars and big powerplants, this is how to go about it. Because this car is clearly built by people with a few screws loose. They really are not all there. Out with the fairies. In another world.

The Jaguar XJ12 was a sedate businessman’s cruiser with a surprising amount of power. I drove my Chairman’s Daimler Double 6 version, and it did startle me a bit. Something the size of an oil tanker was remarkably swift.

Anyway, in the UK, the performance racecar specialists, Broadspeed, decided to take on the task of race preparing an XJ12. Broadspeed have a long history of taking pig’s ears and turning them into silk purses. They went to town here.

Sedate, if powerful, gents’ cruiser goes mental. Driving a Porsche 911? Fuck off out of the way. Your 948 is eating my shorts too. That Ferrari Dino? Just give me some room will you? A Marcos? You’re not taking this seriously, are you? Just piss off out of my way.

This is one of the most insane racecars I have ever seen*. Or heard. Never heard anything that big sound like that. A V8 on full chat sounds great, but that V12 sounds like an escapee from a mental facility.

Broadspeed Jaguar XJ12 – Loud V12 Sound – YouTube

*I have seen a Mclaren M8 CanAm chassis with a Skoda Estelle body bolted on, and that was mad for sure, but not as hairbrained as this.