That’s quite an achievement, isn’t it? But a friend of mine this week went firewalking for a charity event. Now that struck me as a bit foolhardy. It would be for me, given my vertigo-induced tendency to a/ not be able to walk in a straight line, and b/ fall over with no warning. That might smart a bit. Collapsing in the street can be an annoyance. Collapsing into a bed of red hot embers is likely going to hurt, isn’t it?

However, if I were still able bodied, I might be tempted to have a shot at firewalking. Partly, and tragically, because of David Lynch’s prequel to Twin Peaks. I know, I know. Having a go at something so possibly dangerous based on the fact I liked  Fire Walk With Me is dumb. But yeah, I might give it a shot.

Come on, be reasonable. Here you have the guy who pretty much taught himself firebreathing. The learning process led me to immolating a trellis in my local pub’s back garden. Don’t try this at home – Firebreathing | nobodysreadingme (wordpress.com) Better than immolating myself though. That could have happened if I hadn’t been a fast learner.

If you’re firewalking and things go wrong, you can at least skip nimbly to one side and get out of the firepit. Well, I couldn’t, being a bit infirm, so nimble is out of the question, but you get the principle I’m sure. Firebreathing is a bit more up close and dangerous. Once you start the flame front, there’s really no going back. You have to see it through. There is no ‘Oh fuck this for a game of soldiers’ option. You’re in for the short, but perilous, duration.

Firewalking, I imagine, has a lot of people around to tend to you if you balls it up. Not so with firebreathing, or fire eating for that matter. I taught myself fire eating too. That’s a one step learning process. The big problem here is burning your hand wielding the flaming torch, and trying to conceal the fact it hurts from your flabbergasted audience who just know you as that bloke from the pub. The show must go on, as they say.

Come to think of it, my friend and correspondent isn’t madder than I am, is she? She has her moments though. 😊