How to write a Facebook entry? Well, I can tell some things about not to do, if that will help.

Wednesday saw a torrent, a deluge, a  Biblical flood of gibberish Facebook entries. Pretentious twaddle does not amount to what you’re writing being valuable.

Here’s a useful tip. Repetitive iterations do not increase impact. They increase annoyance. One FB entry that drifted through my transome included this. ‘…if it be, if it be, if it be, if it be, if it be, if it be…’ Six iterations in one sentence, in one paragraph. It’s a really annoying and widespread phenomenon.

Here’s a really useful tip. Get your message up front. Say right out what your point is. This is a widely accepted principle in scientific writing. Let people know what you think, then work your way through your arguments. Don’t bury your conclusions in the middle or at the end of a load of verbiage. Nobody wants to burrow through acres of nonsense just to find your conclusion is a load of nonsense anyway.

Here’s another tip. Do not flood my Timeline with aimless posturing entries when I have no sodding idea who you are. Why should I be even remotely interested in your incoherence, your complete  lack of narrative  logic? Strike me off your circulation list. I don’t care about your views, scattered disconnected through ruinously saccharin and preposterously pretentious pudder.

And what the hell is the phrase, ‘amiable, arable, arid…’ supposed to mean? You’re just being cleverclever, trying to impress with your erudition. What erudition do you think you’re displaying? I’d suggest you have your head a long long way up your arse. I’m surprised you can speak.

If I sound a bit jaundiced, bear in mind that I threw up every day from last Friday to Thursday yesterday. That can lower your tolerance threshold, I can assure you.