This was prompted by me unwisely bothering to read one of the random ads that pop up on my cheapskate blogsite.

Apparently, according to an ‘expert’ (Danger Will Robinson ! Danger!), and there’s only one of him which makes me suspect he’s a hired gun in it for the money, 970,000 dogs in the UK suffer from ‘mental health issues.’ That’s a pleasingly large and worryingly exact figure, isn’t it? Anyway, I think that’s maybe an underestimate. ALL the dogs I know are completely bonkers.

Also apparently, these issues can manifest themselves in a variety of ways. Eating grass or turds. Pretty universal in the canine world, because dogs are not the towering intellects of the animal kingdom. Incessant barking. We all know one of those, don’t we kids? Chewing furniture. As I understand it, this is pretty much the doggie equivalent of flossing.  Separation anxiety. I don’t understand how you know about this, since by definition you’re not there to observe it, are you?

This is where Dr Michael Lazaris (Can you call yourself Dr if you’re a vet? Just asking) comes in with his hired gun blazing. All these problems are down to poor nutrition. Yeah, I believe that. Dogs searching for ‘essential nutrients’ eat grass, and as we all know it makes them sick*. Or turds. The nutritional value of turds is, I expect, pretty low. That’s why we have a crap. There’s nothing useful left. Dogs are just a bit thick sometimes. I also doubt that there are many essential nutrients left in your average sofa. See ‘thick’ above.

Then there’s some puff about how all commercial dogfoods are rubbish, even the premium priced ones. The good doctor then conflates  the physical problems dogs have, rambling off about why some dogs have physical problems, along with the mental issues they have to face. Oh please, give me a break here. Dogs have physical problems because of the stupid inbreeding they’ve been subjected to by ruthless money artists. Do you think a pug really wants to be hardly able to breathe and look as if it had been chasing a truck that stopped unexpectedly? That’s its genetic legacy, not what dogfood you give it.

Then we get to the nitty gritty. This bunch of tomfoolery is ©Your Pet Nutrition. No axe to grind there then, eh?

*There’s a small amount of evidence on the other hand that cats eat grass specifically to make themselves sick, as a form of self medication to get rid of something toxic. Grass sure helps them get rid of furballs.