How to not masturbate

That got your attention, didn’t it?

There is a widespread and strongly held belief that J H Kellogg, yes he of cereal fame, was concerned about masturbation. He invented the cornflake  as a food to be a prophylactic against the practice of Onanism, the work of Satan.

Now as much as I wish this were true, since it would be delightfully mad, it’s not, I’m sad to relate. Dr Kellogg did not invent cornflakes as an antiwanking aid. I sort of wish he had, because that would be proof positive he was utterly deranged.

Kellogg was a clinician, and developed the cornflake as a simple, nutritious, easily digested, spiritually pure foodstuff for his more frail patients in his sanitorium. We may need to sketch over the ‘nutritious’ bit, given the running joke is that the most nutritious bit of cornflakes is the cardboard packaging.

Now I quite like cornflakes, but I’ll let you into a secret. They don’t work in an antimasurbatory way. Nope, they don’t.

But just how did this myth crop up?

Dr Kellogg was a bit of a prude, for sure. He was a Seventh Day Adventist. Fine. No issue there. But he really was a prude. He deeply disapproved of the whole concept of any sexual congress of any type, even within marriage. Seems a bit extreme to me. I also speculate occasionally about how Mrs Kellogg felt about this. May not have been too chuffed about this. But she married him, I guess, knowing full well what he was like. Maybe she didn’t like sex either. Well matched then.