How to not buy something. A new one

Sunday shortie.

Ever heard of Scarlet Harrison unless you read the reports of her court case? If the answer is ‘Yes,’ you’ve gone down in my estimation, since that means you watched the reality television show Ex On The Beach, and I find it hard to forgive you that.

Anyway, she got busted for drink driving, having failed a roadside breath test. She was hauled off to the nick for a more accurate alcopop* reading, and she claimed that her collagen-enhanced lips made it impossible to provide the sample, since they were too big to allow her to close them round the mouthpiece on the machine.

Having now seen a photograph of her, I decided it was quite plausible, since she looks as if you could stick her to a window. However, the beaks weren’t buying it, and she was found guilty of failing to provide a sample, fined 160 quid plus 150 quid costs, and banned from driving for 16 months.

Good concept, poor execution, as they say.

*She’d actually been drinking pink gins.