My name’s Duncan, and I’m a lot older than I think. I’m due a bus pass.
First things first. Some of the things I write are in very questionable taste. Not obscene or blasphemous or deliberately offensive, just in poor taste. Where necessary, I flag this in the Post or Page. If you get the hump about something I’ve written, hard cheese; you can’t say you weren’t warned, can you?
This is a pretty eclectic collection of stuff I write. You’ll find chunks of a novel that’s a work in progress (any page headed Charlie and Me fits into this category), some short stories, some tentative character developments, some bits where I’m just ranting, some observational stuff.
There are clairvoyants, bricklayers, Gangnam stars, idiots, prejudices (including mine), female drag racers, literary editors, earnest but incompetent DIYers, cats, vets, Russian acupuncturists, French pharmacologists, Kim Kardashian (just the once, honest) James Dean, peacocks. A NASCAR driver who writes haikus. There’s even a stoned hummingbird
I could go on, but you may have more fun just poking about. Though you may find this process a bit hit and miss, since I rarely include internal links. Some of my Posts include references to some of my Pages, but there may be no link; you have to find things for yourself.
If you’re short of time, I can recommend that you enter ‘urban warrior’ in the Search box. Lots of funny stuff there, including quite a lot about polar bears. And Mexicans. There’s another good search term
What you won’t find, in general, is anything serious; I don’t write serious stuff very often. Some, but not a lot. When I do, it’s meant to sting.
So have fun, and if you like what I write, tell your friends. My site stats are looking a bit thin just now. If you don’t like what I put up, then let me know too. I’ll ignore you, but it may make you feel less irate, which will be good for your blood pressure.
I’ve had quite a lot of stories published online. The ones on http://www.wattpad.com/ are free to access and can be read online. The ones on http://www.etherbooks.com/ are nearly all free, but you do need to download an app for your phone (Apple and Android are supported) and then actually download the stories. Both of those sites have a pretty eclectic mix of themes and genres on them, so again you’re unlikely to be bored
I have another blog at http://messingaboutinthekitchen.wordpress.com/
If you like food, check it out. It’ll do my site stats no end of good too.
Before I forget, unless I reblog something or attribute something to someone else, everything on here is © Duncan Swallow, nobodysreadingme, NRM, or messingaboutinthekitchen 2012/2013. If you want to use anything, go ahead but let me know, and make sure it’s attributed to me. I’m not being precious, I’m just protecting a lot of hard work, and a lot of time.
Kate Wally said:
For the record, I’m quite disappointed there’s nothing here about you like for fart noises.
nobodysreadingme said:
This is a family show. However, if it’s bowel habits you’re after…
nobodysreadingme said:
Oh, yes, i forgot this too.
Sean said:
Duncan, I’m gutted I wasn’t in town over the past week to discuss the current “state of the nation” with you. Pretty sure that would’ve been a 6 pinter at least. Kind regards. Sean.
nobodysreadingme said:
I had more than six, I can tell you.
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Joanne said:
Hi Duncan, thanks for the link, your blog has now made it to the Antipodes if it hadn’t already. Lots of good reading for me here. Cheers, Jo the Kiwi
nobodysreadingme said:
I have a couple of Kiwi friends round here. I have a Lancashire accent (Ayup. Taraa) so we have occasional translation errors. Mind you, he’s married to somebody from Stoke, which is a bastard Midlands/Lancs accent.
Argus said:
Ya wanna hear my accent for real bastard … second thoughts, you really really don’t …